Four Stages of Married Life: Sneh(Affection), Samarpan(Surrender), Samadhan(Satisfaction) and Sarthakata (Meaningfulness Fulfilment)

Introduction

The other day, on my younger sister's 30th wedding anniversary, I said, "Heartfelt congratulations on a day of Sneh(Affection), Samarpan(Surrender), Samadhan (Satisfaction) and Sarthakata (Meaningfulness /Fulfilment) ." To this, our son-in-law remarked, "Oh, you've summed up the essence of married life." Upon reflection, I realized he was right. This article is an expanded version of the sentiment expressed by our son-in-law.

Married life is a long journey during which couples pass through various stages. This journey continues throughout life, and its nature changes with each decade. Married life can be divided into four major stages - Sneh, Samarpan, Samadhan and Sarthakata. Each stage is special in its own way and brings a new maturity to the husband-wife relationship.

First Decade: Sneh/Affection (First 10 Years)

The first decade of marriage can be called the period of 'Sneh/affection.' During this time, couples develop deep love and attachment for each other. This is a time to know and understand each other and lay the foundation for a shared life.

In the early days, they may face some challenges in adjusting to each other's habits, such as the wife being bothered by the husband's habit of staying up late, while the husband sometimes finds the wife's insistence on being organized strange. Through affection and connection, they begin to understand and accept each other's priorities and habits. A few years into the marriage, a child is born, which is a new experience. The arrival of this little being changes night sleep, daily routines, and responsibilities. The husband, who had never handled a baby before, learns to change diapers and put the baby to sleep. The wife learns to balance work and motherhood.

Both young and full of energy, they talk late into the night, weaving dreams. This decade brings many first-time joys, such as the first house, the first car, the first foreign trip. This phase is very exciting. Yes, sometimes there may be stress about jobs, children, and money, but all these experiences strengthen the bond of affection between husband and wife.

Second Decade: Samarpan/Surrender (11 to 20 Years)

The second decade of marriage can be called the period of ' Samarpan/Surrender.' During this time, love matures and transforms into dedication. Couples learn to sacrifice and make compromises for each other and their family. Now the child/children start going to school, and their responsibilities begin to increase. Many times, it happens that the husband turns down a promotion offer in another city, which is important for his career, considering the wife's job, the children's education, and the care of elderly parents. Or the wife, upon receiving a major opportunity in her career involving foreign travel, decides to limit her career, considering the responsibility of childcare and the husband's parents.

This decade teaches a new definition of love; love is not just romantic feelings; it is also the willingness to sacrifice one's personal comforts for each other, for one's children, and for one's parents. In this way, husband and wife deepen and strengthen the bond of affection through Samarpan/Surrender.

Third Decade: Samadhan/Satisfaction (21 to 30 Years)

The third decade brings a new turn in the lives of husband and wife; the children have grown up and entered the first phase of their own married lives. Husband and wife are suddenly, again alone, like in the early days of marriage. But now they are not young; with age, health challenges also begin to emerge, such as the husband's high blood pressure and the wife's thyroid issues. But these challenges bring them closer to each other. The husband makes changes in his habits, like regular exercise, and the wife makes changes in home cooking to encourage each other to stay healthy.

By this decade, despite many ups and downs and changes in life, husband and wife maintain balance and find solutions in every situation. At this stage, they learn to stop fighting over trivial matters and understand that every problem has a solution; you just need to show a little patience and understanding. Over so many years, they understand each other so well that a very few words or gestures are good enough to communicate.

Final Years: Sarthakata/Meaningfulness /Fulfilment (Beyond 30 Years)

By the time we reach this stage, most of the time, our parents have passed away. We have become grandparents. After completing 30 years of married life, having raised children properly and served elderly parents, husband and wife now begin to experience the fulfillment of their lives.

After retirement, upon reaching this stage, efforts to make life more meaningful begin, such as touring the country and abroad to better understand society and culture, reviving old hobbies that were left incomplete, guiding the new generation through one's experiences when needed, and so on.

Looking back from here, we should realize that:

• Every stage of our life, every challenge, every joy has brought us to this moment;

• Love has changed - from romantic love to dedication, then understanding, and finally, this deep satisfaction.

• Life has been lived well, together, with a sense of fulfilment;

Conclusion

Married life is a long journey with many ups and downs, but with love, understanding, and commitment, every challenge can be faced. In married life, love takes many forms - sometimes intense and romantic, sometimes sacrificial and dedicated, sometimes understanding and tolerant, and finally satisfied and fulfilling. It is important to understand and accept these four stages of marriage. Each stage is special in itself and helps strengthen the couple's relationship. The secret to a successful marriage is to recognize these stages, adapt to them, and always support each other.